i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
