I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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