And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
