So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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