Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
im on a boat
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