mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
