like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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