This is not my ceiling
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
