I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
