ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
