The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
