I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
