Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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