I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
