I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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