finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
