so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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