I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
