I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
