I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
