What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
