that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Can I color on your dick again?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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