babies were throwing up all over the place
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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