idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
