You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
