I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Randomize
