Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
