I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
