Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
