I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
