Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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