I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sorry my hands just texted you
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
