I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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