I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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