Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
