then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
