Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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