how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
