she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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