So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
