when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if i can run in heels then i can drive
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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