We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
