4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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