i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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