We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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