I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
