I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
