i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
