Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
