PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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