who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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