Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
